Jokate Amtolea Uvivu Diamond

Sexy lady anayefanya poa na ngoma yake ya Leo Leo, Jokate Mwegelo ‘Kidoti’, amemlipua aliyewahi kuwa mwandani wake, Nasibu Abdul ‘Diamond Platnumz’ ambaye hivi karibuni alimwita makombo baada ya kusikia kwa sasa anatoka kimalovee na msanii Ali Kiba.

Akizungumza na gazeti la Ijumaa Wikienda,, Jokate alisema alishangazwa na maneno hayo ambayo hakustahili kuyatamka kwani kama ni ishu ya mtu kula makombo mbona hata yeye ni makombo na bado anakula makombo?

“Sijapendezwa na kauli ya Diamond na namshangaa sana, sijajua nini kimemkuta maana mimi sijamtaka wala hakuna ambapo niliwahi kumwambia kuwa ninatoka  au ninamtaka Kiba, zaidi ya maneno ya watu kwenye mitandao ya kijamii.

“Hata kama hilo lipo, bado sioni maana ya neno makombo kwani hata yeye ni makombo na anakula makombo kwa Zari (Zarinah Hassan) kwani nani asiyejua?” alihoji Jokate akionekana kuchukizwa na kauli hiyo ya Diamond na kuongeza:

“Yawezekana labda maana ya neno hilo hatulijui ndiyo maana tunalisema bila kuliangalia kwa umbali zaidi, hivyo ninachoweza kukisema ni kwamba mimi sijawahi kumtaka wala kumhitaji hivyo sioni kabisa sababu ya msingi ya kusema hivyo labda kama alikuwa na maana nyingine tofauti na hiyo.”

Soma zaidi

Frola Mbasha Ajiunga CHADEMA

MWIMBAJI maarufu wa nyimbo za injili nchini, Frola Mbasha ameijunga na Chama cha Demokrasia na Maendeleo (Chadema).

Akizungumza kwenye mkutano wa hadhara uliofanyika viwanja vya Tanganyika Packers mjini Dar es Salaam jana, Mbunge wa Kawe, Halima Mdee (Chadema), alisema kuijunga kwa Mbasha katika chama hicho kutasaidia kuhamasisha wasanii wengine ambao wamekuwa wakitumiwa na Chama Chama Mapinduzi (CCM), bila kupata mafanikio.

” Idadi kubwa ya wasanii nchini, wanateseka bila ya kujijua, hii inatokana na kutumiwa na CCM bila kupata mafanikio ya aina yoyote…Frola inabidi uwaelimishe ili waweze kujiunga na chama chetu,”alisema Mdee.

Naye Mwenyekiti wa Chadema,Freeman Mbowe alisema siku Serikali itakapowasilisha muswada wa Sheria wa Vyombo vya Habari bungeni, wabunge wa chama hicho na wale wanauounda Umoja wa Katiba ya Wananchi ( Ukawa) watafanya vurugu ili kuhakikisha haupiti.

Alisema baadhi ya vipengele vya muswada huo vinakandamiza waandishi na wananchi kupata habari.

” Siku Serikali ikiwasilisha Muswada wa Vyombo vya Habari,mimi na wabunge wangu tutafanya vurugu hadi unaondolewa bungeni,” alisema Mbowe

Naye Naibu Katibu Mkuu- Bara, John Mnyika alisema Jiji la Dar es Salaam lina nafasi kubwa ya kuleta mabadiliko licha ya kuwepo kwa wizi mkubwa kura wakati wa uchaguzi.

” Idadi kubwa ya wasanii nchini wanateseka bila ya kujijua, hii inatokana na kutumiwa na CCM Vila ya kupata mafanikio ya aina yoyote, hivyo basi Frola inabidi uwaelimishe ili waweze kujiunga na chama chetu,”alisema Mdee.

Soma zaidi

LOVE STORY: NIPWELEPWETE 02

NIPWELEPWETE  (sehemu ya PILI)

ILIPOISHIA:

 " karibu shemeji"

Erik aliingia ndani ya chumba akakaa juu ya sofa, paulina akaenda kurudisha mlango kisha akaufunga kwa funguo

ENDELEA NAYO SASA: 

Baada ya kufunga mlango huwezi amini, Paulina alibadili nguo mbele ya erik. Alivua ile sket na kuvaa khanga ndani kufuli. Juu kavaa blauzi ya kukata kiuno....

"Mmh" aliguna erik na kugeuzia uso ukutani.....

" VP Erik mbona unaguna ajabu kwako eeh?"

"Daaah! Unanipa wakati mgumu Paulina"

"Kuvipi?"

"Si hivyo unavyofanya"

"Kubadili nguo mbele yako"

"Ndio"

"Sasa jamani mbona kawaida tu, kwani mi Dada' ako?"

"Hata kama"

"Kwahyo hali mbaya sio?" Paulina alimuuliza erik.

"Halo je?" Aliongea Paulina baada ya safar hii kuvaa huku akijitingisha kidogo!!

" Paulina bhana unajua majaribu mengine si mazur?"

"Haya twende basi" alisema Paulina huku akiuendea mlango ili aufungue,

Lakin eriki a.k.a cantina kama anavyojiita hakuamka...

"Vp wewe' huendi?"

Erik alimkodolea macho paulina. Kwan mambo take yalihalibika, alishindwa kusimama akihofia kuwa Paulina atagundua kwamba hali ni 'tete'

Maana sehemu ile ilishiba

Paulina alimrudia na kusimama mbele yake na kumuuliza.......

" VP kwani Erik?"

Erik alibaki kimya, alihisi aibu alijua Paulina akimjua ameelemewa na mambo angemcheka.

Paulin alimshika mkono Erik akamsimanisha, Erik aliposimama ndipo Paulina akagundua kilichompata kijana huyo

"Haaa! Yaan Mara hii Erik umeshakuwa hivi?" ngoja utulie kwanza Paulina alirudi na kukaa kitandan akamwangalia Erik kwa huruma! Akasimama akamfuata alipo Erik akamshika mkono na kumsimamisha

" nahisi utanichelewesha kwa mzee boaz,, lakin njoo nikutulize,?" Alisema Paulina huku akienda na Erik kitandani,

"No hapana Paulina kutatulia tu"

"Hamna bwana mm Nina mambo mengi yaani nikae nikusubir wewe huko kutulie ndo tuondoke, kasema nani?"

Paulina alifanikiwa kumbwaga kitandani shaban akamfungua zipu tu yeye akaivutia pembeni kanga aliyovaa akabaki na blauzi,,,,

USIKOSE SEHEMU YA TATU

Soma zaidi

Magazeti ya Leo Jumatatu ya Tarehe 25 May 2015

Soma hapa vichwa vya habari vya Magazeti ya Tanzania kwa ujumla. magazeti haya ni magazeti ya Leo Jumatatu ya Tarehe 25 May 2015.

Soma zaidi

LOVE STORY: NIPWELEPWETE 1

NIPWELEPWETE  (sehemu ya kwanza)

Maroli mengi ya mizigo yalisimama msamvu morogoro, miongoni mwa maroli hayo yaliyosimama! Walipaki dereva mzee Boaz na utingo wake Erik, baada ya kuegesha roli lao mzee Boaz alimtuma Erik .....
"Erik nenda kamwangalie shemeji yako"
"Nimwambie aje au utakwenda?"
"Toka lini mm nikaenda?, mwambie nimeshafika",

Erik alikwenda mpaka alikoagizwa na kukuta mlango umefungwa kwa kufuli. Lakini majirani au wapangaji wengine walikuwepo kwenye nyumba hiyo.....
"Salama jaman?"
"Salama,karibu"
"Asante vp huyu bibie katoka?"
"Teh! Teh! Halooooo"
 walicheka majirani
" kha! Sasa mbona wanacheka?" Eriki alijiuliza....

"Basi akija mwambien mzee boaz anamtaarifu kwamba amewasili hapa msamvu"
" mzee Boaz ni nani?" Mpangaji mmoja aliuliza
"Dereva wangu"
" mzee daudi je?" Mpangaji mwengne akadakia
"Huyo simjui"

Wale wapangaji wakatazamana tena, wakacheka kama mwanzo....
"Basi akija tutamwambia, wala usitie shaka,
Wakati shabani anatoka kuelekea alipotoka nje akakutana na bajaji,, akiwa anashuka Paulina ambaye ndo haswa alikuwa amemfuata!,,

Alivaa kisket kilichomfika juu ya mapaja huku akikivuta ili angarau kimfike juu ya magoti...
"Vipi erik?"
"Mzee anakuita"
" kafikia wapi?"
"Kulekule kwa siku zote"
"Kaja na mzigo wangu lkn"
"Mi sijui"
"Basi njoo kwanza chumbani nibadili nguo alafu twende"
Erik  alimfuata Paulina kwa nyuma huku akifumba macho kwan alijua ni Mali ya dereva wake, Yeye kama utingo hatakiwi kumgusa popote,
Paulina aliingia ndani ya chumba chake huku akiwapita wapangaji wenzake bila kuwasalimia akawanyar kwa zalau kisha akaingia chumbani
"Karibu chumbani Erik"
"Mmmmmh" Erik aliguna
"Jaman shemeji si uingie tu kwani waogopa nn?"
"Okey asante hodi mpaka ndani"
" karibu shemeji"
Eriki aliingia ndani ya chumba akaakaa juu ya sofa, Paulina akaenda kuurudisha mlango kisha akaufunga kwa funguo.

Je, nini kitatokea?

USIKOSE SEHEMU YA PILI

Soma zaidi

VICHEKESHO

Story:
Kuna mama mmoja ameolewa na wanapendana sana na mmeo. siku moja mme wake alisafiri kikazi (safari ya zaidi ya mwezi) nje ya mkoa. Siku mmeo anarudi, yule mama alimtafuta fundi seremala amrekebishie chaga za kitanda zilikuwa zimeharibika, kwa ajili ya maandalizi ya mechi ya above +18.

Wakati fundi anaendelea na kazi kumbe mmeo huyu dada alishafika. hakutaka kumjulisha mkeo, kwa nia nzuri tu ya kumfanyia suprise, kwani alikuja na mazaga zaga kibao. Hiyo aliingia kwa kunyatia hadi kwenye mlango wa chumbani kwao. Ghafla akasikia mazungumzo ya mkeo na fundi ndani. Mazungumzo yalikuwaje? fuatilia hapa chini

Mama X: Fanya haraka mme wangu amekaribia
Fundi: Nakaribia kumaliza, nisaidie kuchomeka vizuri upande wako (akikusudia chaga)
Mama X: Mbona haiingii
Fundi: Ingiza kwa upande upande
Mama X: Sukuma kwa nguvu
Fundi: Angalia usiumie
Mama X: Hamna shida imeingia


Wakati jamaa akiendelea kusikiliza mlangoni, fundi akaweza godoro juu ya kitanda na mama x akajitupa kitandani kujaribu kama kimetengamaa. mara chaga akachomoka na kuanguaka chini. Nini kilifuata

Mama x: Uwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiii(miguno) "my God, mbona hivi"
Fundi : Pole sana
Mama X: sasa?
Fundi: Ngoja nichomeke tena
Mama X: Yaan wewe, utaacha mme wangu afike hatujamaliza
Fundi: Usijali namaliza sasa hivi

Baada ya dakika chache, fundi akamuaga mama na kumwambia tayari, sasa naona umefurahi. Kutoka tu mlangoni akakutana uso kwa uso na jamaa amekunja ndita kama matuta ya viatu. Gues what happened?

Kitu gani kitatokea kisia toa maoni yako kama ni ww ungefanyaje?
sahare ili watu wazidi kutoa maoni yao na kumfanya admini wa page azidi kupata moyo wa kuwawekea habari nzuri zaidi


Baba na Dogo:
NAKUA(BABA) karudi kazini mwanae mdogo akamuwahi,
DOGO: Baba usiingie ndani kina jini chumbani kwenu
NAKUA: Hakuna kitu kama hicho
DOGO: Kweli baba kuna jini liko kwenye kabati lenu la nguo....NAKUA kaingia ndani kamkuta mkewe kalala kitandani kajifunika shuka gubigubi hadi kichwani. Kaenda kwenye kabati kufungua mlango , akamkuta rafiki yake wa miaka mingi yuko uchi ndani ya kabati
NAKUA: Aise unajua we fala sana, we rafiki yangu miaka yote hiyo halafu unamtisha mwanangu eti wewe jini, hebu toka huko nenda kwenu kacheze michezo hiyo na mwanao.

Binti na Jamaa:
Binti: Hallo mpenzi, mambo!
Jamaa: Poa baby!
Binti: Uko wapi?
Jamaa: Mimi niko town napata lunch.
Binti: Wow! Unarudi saa ngapi? Nina njaa dear, nataka uniletee msosi.
Jamaa: Narudi baada ya nusu saa, Nikuletee nini?
Binti: Niletee chipsi kuku, soseji, mayai manne yakaangwe
pembeni, baga, piza ya samaki waweke mayonaize, coka
take away ya baridi, mkate wa moto kwenye ile bekari ya
Wapemba na maji ya kunywa chupa kubwa ya Kilimanjaro.
Jamaa: Umesahau viti, meza, leseni, masufuria, sahani na vijiko.
Binti: Kwa nini dear?
Jamaa: Naona hutaki kula, unataka kufungua hoteli??

Jamaa na binti:
MSICHANA: Mbona jana nimekupigia simu hujapokea?
JAMAA: please beby forget me.
MSichAnA: eeeh unaniambia hivo mimi?
JAMAA: nakuomba sana forget me.
MSICHANA: aya bwana poa maisha mema.
Msichana anakata simu jamaa ndo ananiuliza."sasa
sijui amekasirikia lipi?" Mi nikamwambia we zuzu
umemwambia AKUSAHAU, dah, kumbe
ningemwambiaje? hahaha, ungemwambia
ForgivE me! au Ungesema Tu NaombA nSameHe.

Msichana wa kazi:
Msichana wa kazi alitaka mama mwenye nyumba ampandishie mshahara..... Mama mwenye nyumba akamwambia msichana ampe sababu tatu za kutaka kupandishiwa mshahara.
Msichana: Napika vizuri kuliko wewe.
Mama: Nani kakuambia?
Msichana: Baba kaniambia.
Mama: ok. Sababu ya pili?
Msichana: Napasi nguo vizuri kuliko wewe
Mama: Nani kakuambia na hili?
Msichana: Baba pia kaniambia
Mama: ok, na sababu ya tatu?
Msichana: Najitahidi kitandani kuliko wewe.
(Hapa mama kaonekana kutaka kujua zaidi na akawa tayari kujiandaa kumrukia akate kichwa cha binti mara moja)
Mama: Mume wangu kakuambia na hili pia?
Msichana: Hapana ni Shamba boy kaniambia mimi najitahidi kitandani kuliko wewe.
Mama: Tafadhali punguza sauti baba yako asisikie. Nitakupandishia mshahara wako mara tatu.......

Soma zaidi

VITUKO VYA FAMILIA

MUME NA KIKAO:

MUME: darl ninakikao mkoani kesho naomba niandalie vitu pls
MKE: dada zile nguo za baba pmj na soksi ulifua?
DADA: ndio nimepanga kabatini.

Mama anarudi chumbani na kumuomba hubby wakacheki TV sebulen, lakn baada ya muda mama anamuita dada akapange suruali kadhaa na mashati kwa ajili ya safari ya kesho, dada anapanga kila kitu anatoka.
MKE: kama tayari hakikisha unarekebisha yale mashuka pale kitandan weka na maji bafuni.
Dada anafanya na kwenda zake kulala, asubuhi dada anaamka mapema na kuandaa kila kitu ikiwamo na chai, baba anakunywa chai na kutaka kuondoka.
MKE: dada msindikize baba ili ufunge geti sbb bado ni giza
DADA: sawa mama.

Dada anatoka na begi la baba hadi nje kwavile mkewe yupo ndani, baba anamtaka dada abaki vizuri na watoto, dada anaitika na kusema nawao wanamuombea safari njema. Baada ya muda baba anarudi toka safari.
MKE: huku akitabasam, dada si umemuona baba amerudi vipi chakula tayari?
DADA: ndio.
MKE: haya kapange meza vizuri mimi nandaa juice.

Baada ya muda wanakula na baba anagundua juice sio nzuri anaamua kuiacha na kusema leo wamesahau kuweka baadhi ya vitu hivyo hataweza kuinywa. Baadae baba anakumbuka kuwa aliacha boxer zake kwenye ndoo ya maji chumban na kufunika mfuniko, anamuuliza mama vipi zile nguo zangu kwenye ndoo zilifuliwa? Maana nilisahau kusema kama zina maji.

MKe: dada njoo hapa hivi zile nguo za baba chumbani ulifua?
DADA: ndio mama (lkn hasemi kama alianua na kuweka chumbani kwake akidhan atakunja baada ya kazi kupungua)
MKE: darling zilifuliwa.
MUME: na watoto vipi wameshalala?
MKE: anajibu wamelala darl.
MUME: vipi dereva wao alifika kuchukua pesa yake?
MKE: dada eti uncle Hassan amechukua pesa yake?
DADA: hapana wamembadilishia gari uncle Hassan amesafiri kwa muda.

MKE: tutampatia darl siku akirudi acha dada aendelee kuitunza
MUME: basi vizuri, ehee vipi na tution walienda leo
MKE: ndio walienda (anamgeukia dada, si eti ee walienda si eti)
DADA: hapana Kelvin anaumwa leo siku ya pili nilinunua dawa dukan nimempa lkn hajambo.
MKE: (anashangaa) heeE! mtoto mgumu huyu kumbe jana alikua mgonjwa halafu wala!!! alikua anacheza tu jamani watoto!! Asante dada umefanya vizuri
MUME: haya mimi niwaache nataka nikapumzike lkn darl nitaomba zile boxer nichome kabla ya kulala sababu zimeanza kuchoka
MKE: anaingia chumbani anafungua kabati na kuzikosa lkn kabla hajajieleza anamuona dada analeta mzigo wa boxer zikiwemo chupi za mama na mataulo
MUME: basi dada zirudishe tutachambua kesho nenda kafanye kazi zako.

mume anainuka na kuelekea kulala, lkn anagundua mke wake alimwaga nguo kitandan wkt anatafuta boxer hivyo anaamua kurudi sebuleni ili aombe kuandaliwa kitanda, kwavile chumba cha dada kipo jiran na chao anagundua dada ameacha mlango wazi, anaamua kuufunga ili mbu wasiingie lkn anaona baadhi ya mashati na suruali zake zikiwa zimenyooshwa na kuwekwa pemben huku kitanda kikiwa kimetandikwa kwa ustadi anaamua kufunga mlango na kutoka, anafika sebuleni anakuta mama anatazama tamthilia anamwambia akatandike kitanda.

MKE: dada njoo, (kwa sauti ya kunong'ona) naomba ukatandike kitanda haraka
DADA: tayari nilipeleka viatu vya baba nikaamua kutoa na zile nguo
MKE: anaamka na kwenda kuhakikisha anarudi na kumwambia mumewe tayari aende akalale
MUME: anaenda kulala lkn huku akijuiliza sana ni nini amfanyie huyu dada kwa ukarimu anaowafanyia hapo nyumban, kwanza anajua ni vitu gani baba anabeba akiwa safarini, ndio pekee anaemtakia safari njema na kumuombea, ndio anaefua boxer zake na kutunza vizuri, ndio anaepika chakula kitamu, ndio anaetandika kitanda chake, ndio anaejua juice gani baba anapenda, ndio anaejua kama watoto wamerudi vipi kutoka shule, vilevile ndio anaejua kama watoto wake wanaumwa ama vipi.

Sasa mnafikiri baba atamzawadia nini huyu binti ambae amebakiza kujua style anazopenda baba tu, si atamfundisha ili kesho asimsumbue tena mke wake ambae kila kitu lzm amuulize dada. Akina baba hawaridhiki lkn wamama jitahidini hata kama mnamajukumu kiasi gani.

KUANGALIA MPIRA NA WANAWAKE NI STRESS
WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown??
HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott
WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?

HUSBAND: ile ni ya Onyo, na Red Card inamaanisha mchezaji awache kucheza na atoke inje ya uwanja.
WIFE: Oooooh! Inakaa kama traffic light! Yellow- Ilani na Red - Simama
HUSBAND: Yeah yeah swity! Ndio hivyo.
WIFE: Na je Green Card??
HUSBAND: Aaaah! Hakuna kitu kama hicho.

WIFE: Nataka Arsenal ishinde world cup.
HUSBAND: [kimya]
WIFE: Ni nani yule mzee anakaa kama Mr. Bean??
HUSBAND: Yeees swity, yule ni kocha wa Arsenal, anaitwa Arsene Wenger.
WIFE: Oooooh! inamaanisha yule kocha mwengine ni Chelsea Wenger??
HUSBAND: [Kabadilisha channel]

TAMAA MBAYA
Jamaa kaenda kwa mke wa rafiki yake:
JAMAA: Shem nakupenda!
MKE: Hebu toka hapa! Je rafiki
yako akijua? tena koma!
JAMAA: Ntakupa milioni 1!
MKE: Basi njoo kesho mchana
mume wangu akiwa kazini!
Kesho yake Jamaa kaja
na milioni 1 wakamalizana na mke wa rafki yake,
jioni ilipofika
Mume akarudi home na
kumuuliza Mkewe, "Rafki yangu SAM kaleta hela yangu milioni 1?"
MKE akajibu kwa unyonge, "Ndio!"
MUME: Yes! Ndio maana nampenda SAM kanikopa asubuhi jioni karejesha!!!!
Mke hoi mzgo umeliwa bure......


MKE MLOKOLE:
JAMAA alimuaga mke wake mlokole kuwa anaenda semina ya siku tatu, kumbe anakwenda kwa bi mdogo.
Mke akamwambia mumewe; "Tupige magoti tusali",
Wakapiga magoti...:
MKE: Eee baba msaidie mume wangu afike salama safari yake.
MUME: Emen...
MKE: Mpe nguvu katika yote atakayoyafanya huko.
MUME: Emen...
MKE: Akitaka kufanya uasherati ashindwe.
MUME: Kimya...
MKE: Akifanya uasherati apatwe na janga baya kwa uwezo wako bwana.
MUME: .......!!
MKE: Yaani akifanya uasherati afie hukohuko kwa mateso makali.
MUME: Maombi gani sasa hayo!!?. Haya basi siendi semina ufurahi wewe.
Chezea mawaifu walokole wewe!

JIKONI HAPASKIKI
Bakari ni house boy mara nyingi huiba wine ya boss wake na kisha kuongeza maji kwenye chupa ili boss asigundue.
Mara kadhaa boss alihisi ladha tofauti anapokunywa wine hivyo kuhisi kuna mchezo mchafu alihisi tu Bakari anahusika.
Ilikua ni bahati tu alimvizia na
kumbamba Bakari akichakachua wine, kwa kuwa mkewe alikua
anamtetea Bakari, ili kumthibitishia mkewe kuwa Bakari ndo culprit, boss alianza kwa kumuuliza Bakari maswali.
Siku hiyo Bakari alikua jikoni, boss na mkewe walikua sebuleni.
Boss: Bakariiii!
Bakari: Naam baba!
Boss: nani anakunywa wine yangu?
Bakari kimyaaaa hajibu kitu!
Boss: Bakariiiii !
Bakari: naam baba!
Boss: nauliza nani anakunywa wine yangu halafu anajazia majiii!
Bakari kimyaaaaa!
Boss akaamua amfuate hukohuko jikoni.
Boss: Kwanini nikikuita unaitikia, nikikuuliza unanyamaza?
Bakari: baba huku jikoni ndo kulivyo, unasikia jina tu likiitwa lakini maneno menginehusikii, na kama huamini baki jikoni mi niende sebuleni.
Bakari akaenda sebuleni akaanza kuita.
Bakari:Babaa!
Boss: naam Bakari!
Bakari: Saa sita usiku huwa unaenda kufanya nini chumba cha house girl?
Boss kimyaaaa!
Bakari: Baba babaa!
Boss:ndio Bakari!
Bakari: Nauliza hivii, chumbani kwa house girl saa sita za usiku huwa wafuata nini?
Boss kimyaaaaaaa!
Boss akatoka nje: Bakari huku jikoni ni kweli husikii kitu zaidi ya jina!
Mke wa Boss akaingilia kati
Mama: nyie msinitanie kabisa mnasemaje?
Bakari: kweli mama ukiwa jikoni husikii kitu nenda uone
Mama akaenda na Bakari akaanza
Bakari: mamaaaa!
Mama: abeee!
Bakari: hebu niambie hiyo mimba ni ya baba au yangu?
Mama kimya
Bakari: mamaaaa!
Mama: abeeee!
Bakari: hebu niambie ukweli hiyo mimba ni ya baba au yangu??
Mama kimya
Mama akatoka nje: kweli humu jikoni kuna tatizo nilikuwa nasikia jina tu

Soma zaidi

VITUKO VYA WALEVI

MLEVI NA MCHUNGAJI WAMEKUTANA;
MCHUNGAJI; "Unakunywa bia!?
MLEVI; "Ndio.
MCHUNGAJI; "Kwa siku unakunywa bia ngapi!?
MLEVI; "Nakunywa bia tano!
MCHUNGAJI; "Bia moja bei gani!?
MLEVU; "2500/
MCHUNGAJI; "Ulianza lini kunywa bia!?
MLEVI; "Miaka 18 iliyopita!
MCHUNGAJI; "Kwa hiyo kwa siku unatumia zaidi ya 10,000??
MLEVI; "Ndio!
MCHUNGAJI; "Kama u gekuwa unatunza hiyo pesa 10,000 kwa siku leo hii si ungekuwa na Range Rover!?
MLEVI; "Samahani, naweza kukuuliza swali!?
MCHUNGAJI; "Uliza!
MLEVI; "Unakunywa bia!?
MCHUNGAJI; "Hapana!
MLEVI; "Nionyeshe Range Rover yako!
MCHUNGAJI; "akasepa"

MLEVI AKIWA BAR:
MHUDUMU: Nikusaidie nini?
MLEVI: Eeh! nipe bia ya baridi kisaha wasikilize wote waliokaa hapa, wape bia na wao maana sipendi kunywa pombe wengine wananiangalia
Akaja mhudumu wa jikoni "nikusaidie nini?"
MLEVI: Niletee supu kisha wasikilize wote waliokaa hapa na wao wape supu sipendi kunywa supu watu wananiangalia
Safari hii watu wakapiga makofi
Baadae akamuita mhudumu
MLEVI: Niandikie bili zangu kisha waandikie wote bili zao sipendi kulipa huku watu wananiangalia

Wale wateja wakamvaa na kumshushia kichapo... teh teh teh teh teh hii kali hakuna cha bure mjini hahahaha na jasho la mtu haliliwi wandugu

WALEVI WAWILI:
Walevi wawili waliokota kioo, mlevi wa 1 akaangalia muda mrefu kisha akasema "hii sura sio ngeni machoni mwangu sema jina tu silikumbuki..! !!

Mlevi wa pili akamnyang'anya kisha nae akaangalia kioo akasema "wee kweli huna akili, si mimi huyu? halafu unajidai hunikumbuki ...!!!

MLEVI NA JAMAA:
Jamaa alikuwa amelaa na mkewe saa tisa ya usiku akastuka baada ya kusikia mtu anabisha hodi kwenda kufungua mlango
Akamkuta jamaa kalewa sana mlangoni kwao
JAMAA: Nini tena mheshimiwa kuamshana saa hizi?
MLEVI: Naomba uje unisukume.
Jamaa akiamini kuwa pengine kuna gari la huyu mlevi limezima jirani akamwambia subiri nikavae viatu. Baada ya kuvaa viatu akatoka na wakaanza kusindikizana na mlevi. Mlevi akaongoza njia

mpaka kwenye mabembea ya jirani akakaa kwenye bembea moja na kumgeukia jamaa na kumwambia.. Okay nisukume basi.

Soma zaidi

CHAKULA KINAWEZA KUA TIBA MBADALA

Mtu kuwa na afya njema siyo jambo linaloweza kuja lenyewe bila wewe mwenyewe kufanya jitihada za kupata maarifa ya kutambua mahitaji ya mwili wako, halikadhalika, kuwa na afya mbaya hakuji kwenyewe, bali huwa ni matokeo ya kutokuzingatia au kutokujua mahitaji ya mwili wako jana, hasa katika suala zima la chakula na mtindo wa maisha unayoishi.

Katika makala ya leo, tutakupa baadhi ya dondoo muhimu zitakazokusaidia kukupa mwanga wa njia bora ya kuishi maisha yenye afya njema kwa kujua hulka ya mwili wako na kufanya kile mwili unataka;

MWILI IMARA
Mwili umetengenezwa ili kufanyakazi na kujishughulisha nyakati za mchana na kupumzika usiku giza linapoingia, ndivyo mwili ulivyoumbwa na ulivyozoea. Ingawa kuna mwanga wa bandia unaoweza kubadilisha usiku ukaonekana kama mchana, lakini viungo ndani ya mwili vinafuata asili yake na huwezi kuvidanya.

Hivyo huna haja ya kushindana na mwili wako, kama una uhuru wa kupanga muda wako, ni vyema kufanyakazi zako mchana na kisha ukalala mapema na kuamka mapema. Hii itaupa mwili nafasi ya kutosha ya kupumzika wakati nishati yake inapokuwa katika kiwango chake cha chini. Utashangaa kiwango cha kazi au michezo utakayoweza kuifanya kwa kuamka asubuhi mapema.

Hapa inasisitizwa kwamba kulala na kuamka mapema ndiyo mwili unavyotaka na ndivyo ambavyo utakavyoweza kufanya kazi au shughuli yako yoyote kwa ufanisi zaidi na bila kuuchokesha mwili.

TIBA MBADALA
Vyakula kama vile matunda, mboga na baadhi ya vyakula vingine vilivyopo jikoni kwako, vina uwezo mkubwa wa kutumika kama tiba mbadala. Ni vizuri kujua uwezo wa kila tunda, mboga au mmea wowote katika kutibu magonjwa madogo madogo kama kichwa, tumbo, mafua, n.k, badala ya kukimbilia matumizi ya dawa kali kali (Anti Biotic).
Ukila matunda na mboga mboga na chakula chenye mlinganyo (balanced diet) unajiwekea kinga katika mwili wako na itakukinga na magonjwa mbalimbali yasiyo ya lazima.

Soma zaidi

AFYA BORA kwa chakula unachokula

Katika suala la zima la kuwa na afya bora, hiyari iko mikononi mwa mtu mwenyewe. Unaweza kuamua kuishi na afya bora na unaweza pia kuamua kuishi na afya mbaya, uamuzi ni wako. Kama ilivyo kwa jambo lolote, nia, uelewa na kujituma ndiyo huwa siri ya mafanikio, hivyo hata katika suala la afya ni hivyo hivyo.
Angalizo kwa chakula unachokula:
Unene ni tatizo kubwa miongoni mwa vijana na watu wazima. Watu wengi wanakula kupita mahitaji halisi ya miili yao. Utafiti unaonesha kuwepo uhusiano mkubwa wa ulaji kupita kiasi na hatari ya kuatwa na magonjwa.

Ulaji wa chakula kiasi na chenye manufaa kiafya, kutakuhakikishia wewe na familia yako afya imara kwa miaka mingi ijayo. Ni bora kula kila siku mlo wenye faida kwa mwili wako badala ya kufanya hivyo pale unapoambiwa na daktari tu.

Ulaji wa mboga pekee (vegetarianism) unaendelea kupata umaarufu duniani kwa sababu unamuwezesha mtu kupata faida zote sawa na mtu anayekula nyama, lakini bila kuwa na hatari ya kupatwa na ugonjwa wowote. Pia kula matunda kwa kiasi cha kutosha, angalau kila mlo uwe na matunda na isiwe aina moja kila mlo.

Jizuie kula kupita kiasi na hakikisha unakunywa maji mengi kila siku. Wakati mwingine watu hutafsiri kiu kama njaa na kuishia kufakamia chakula wakati kilichokuwa kikihitajika mwilini kilikuwa maji tu. Hivyo tunashauriwa kutii miili yetu kwa kuhakikisha tunakunywa maji ya kutosha, hata kama hatusikii kiu, kwa sababu pale tunaposikia kiu, tayari mwili unakuwa umepungukiwa maji.

Soma zaidi

MAGONJWA YA NGONO KWA VIJANA

Kuna athari nyingi ambazo kijana anaweza kukumbana nazo kutokana na kuambukizwa magonjwa mbalimbali ya ngono.
Magonjwa ya ngono yasipotibiwa mapema na kwa usahihi yanaweza kusababisha madhara yafuatayo kwa kijana.
Kwa kijana wa kike.
 Kuziba kwa mirija ya uzazi ambako kunasababisha aidha mamba kutunga nje ya mfuko wa uzazi au ugumba.
Maambukizi katika mfuko wa uzazi ambako husababisha aidha kuharibika mamba mara kwa mara, kujifungua kabla ya mamba kutimiza muda wake, kuzaa motto mfu au kuzaa mtoto mwenye maambukizi ya magonjwa ya ngono. Kupata magonjwa katika viungo muhimu mwilini kama ubongo, moyo na figo.
Kansa ya kizazi Mabadiliko ya hedhi.
UKIMWI:
Kwa kijana wa kiume Maambukizi katika kokwa za mbegu za uzazi au kuziba mirija inayopitisha mbegu za uzazi na kuleta utasa. Kupata matatizo ya kukojoa kwa sababu ya kuziba njia ya mkojo.
Kupata magonjwa katika viungo muhimu mwilini kama ubongo, moyo na figo Magonjwa katika mishipa ya damu. Kansa ya uume Kupungua nguvu za kiume.
UKIMWI Nini kijana unapaswa kufanya Kuwa na tabia ya kutafuta taarifa sahihi za magonjwa ya ngono na kuzisoma kwa ufasaha ili kuepuka maambukizi.
Kutumia huduma za afya zilizopo ili kutibiwa magonjwa ya ngono na kuepuka madhara yatokanayo na tiba isiyo sahihi.
 Kufahamu kwamba ni haki yako ya msingi kutumia huduma za afya na kupata matibabu sahihi.
Kuwa jasiri na kujiamini katika kudai haki na kuuliza maswali wahudumu wa afya kuhusu magonjwa ya ngono na matibabu yake.
Kujiunga na makundi rika na kuiomb a serikali kuweka huduma rafiki kwa vijana. Kujua kuwa ni wajibu wako kuihamasisha jamii katika kudhibiti magonjwa ya ngono.
Kuwa shujaa wa kupimwa afya yako ikiwa ni pamoja na maambukizi ya virusi vya UKIMWI.
Kumbuka, epuka mambo yafuatayo :
Usijinunulie dawa bila ushauri wa dakatari.
Dawa utakazoshauriwa na madaktari ni za matumizi yako, usigawane na mwenzio.
Usiache kutumia dawa kama dalili zimepotea.
Maliza dozi ya dawa kama ulivyoelekezwa na daktari.
Dawa zinapatikana katika vituo vya afya bila malipo.

Soma zaidi

NIKKI MBISHI - KUPANDA NA KUSHUKA FEAT ONE,SONGA&LADY JAYDEE(Lyrics)

Intro:
Tamadunimuzik.....Yeah
Combination sounds....
Combinenga.....

Kiitikio:JD
Siku ikifika tukubali,tuwe macho
Kupanda na kushuka zote hali,tuwe macho x2

Verse ya kwanza:Nikki Mbishi
Vaa wema vua shari safari hatua,
Round hii mbishi niko gengeni na jua kali,
Siuzi nyanya vitunguu wala pilipili hoho,
Too little too late ushachelewa Jojo,
Wakiniona mi nashine wanachonga,
Ndo maana kila line wanaponda,
Vipi nikisign na Anaconda,
Busy kwenye show mi nashow biz na kwa flow hizi si ndo time ya kusonga,
Hahahahaaa!!! hii ni hit ya kubaki,
Mwenyei kaniumba fit ndo maana lift sitaki,
Nabang kila session mpaka morning groove,
Eti niko chini hunioni juu?,Mi ni leader wa performing crew,
Nizungue ubaki mweupe design ya hair style ya Monikuu,
Haah Nikki Mbishi Songa One The Incredible,
Komando Yosso ni mzozo ngoma ni terrible,
Karibuni..

Kiitikio:JD
Siku ikifika tukubali,tuwe macho
Kupanda na kushuka zote hali,tuwe macho x2

Verse ya pili:One the inredible
Wanasema wanapenda vile mi hubonga kila kitu,
Rap sonara madini huwa nachonga kila siku,
Sina fleva za kibongo naonja kila kitu,
Bila woga wanaloga niwe kioja kila siku,
Kama unaipenda push play ama itose,
Everyday iwe kush nei ama okayyy,
Wazushi msichoke naghushi ninyooshe,
Nipe changamoto sio kila nikigusa tu okayyy
Kuna watu wangependa nigote kwenye misele,
Iwe kwere kote Moko nisote nisiende mbele,
Nichoke niwe kero kokote au niende selo nisitoke,
Ila msiogope nipo milele,
Kwani muumba ndo mpaji kutunga kipaji,
Niko macho wanataka kuniua niwe mtaji,
Niko Anaconda na hii ndo ile siku niko mcaho,
Ila wengi watakesha kila siku..

Kiitikio:JD
Siku ikifika tukubali,tuwe macho
Kupanda na kushuka zote hali,tuwe macho x2

Verse ya tatu:Songa
Chungu kichungu natema sumu kisumu,
Hali ni mgumu je utabeba dumu kidumu,
Na kidumu mpaka wasaa utapotambaa,
Na kushangaa kwamba kufika humu ni ngumu,
Ukicheck chance hola,unawaza utaishi vipi endapo majambazi wakipora,
Basi bora,kuwa na wasi kama polisi ni sawa na wazazi wenye bastola,
Heeey.. na bado utakosa njozi,kazi hakuna utanuna utashona gozi,
Niite Songa endapo utakosa pozi,
Au nyong'onyea zaidi ya mgonjwa aliyekosa dozi,
We si kiongozi...ndio,
Mbona maji hakuna wananchi mtaani wanaoga chozi....
(kicheko)

Kiitikio:JD
Siku ikifika tukubali,tuwe macho
Kupanda na kushuka zote hali,tuwe macho x2

Soma zaidi

Vanessa Mdee, Barnaba, Aika, Nahreel, AVID - WCD (Wave, Clap, Dance)- (Lyrics)

(Intro)
Ayoo Ayoo Ayoo Ayoo

Verse ya kwanza
(Aika)
Karibu mgeni, Kwaheri mwenyeji
Tulipanga mengi sana aah
Tulikula dagaa
Tulipika kwa mkaa
Na maisha yalisonga

(Barnaba)
Niliweka visenti kwenye vibubu
Ukunipa vurugu
Nilitumia vibatari sikutumiaga luku
Asante sana rafiki, Mungu akubariki.
Kwa kunilinda na dhiki.
Haaa!

Kiitikio:
(Vanessa Mdee & AVID)
So wave and Clap and Dance together
So wave and Clap and Dance together

Verse ya pili:
(Nahreel)
Tulikula maindi, leo nipe chips
Sitaki kikubwa kidogo nifaidi.
(Yelele yelele yelele yelele)
Ulinipa dhiki, ukinifariji
Mwakani utanipa kikubwa zaidi ya hiki.

(AVID)
Hanhaa..
Dunia tambara, nimebeba mazuri na Machafu mengi
Hanhaa
Hukuona hasara kuchukua wazuri wangu wengiiii..
Hiiiiiiiii...

Kiitikio:
(Vanessa Mdee & AVID)
Now wave and Clap and Dance together
Now wave and Clap and Dance together

Verse ya tatu:
(Vanessa Mdee)
Ulinifundisha mazuri, nisiwe jeuri nipambane
Ulinipaga na mwamvuli
Kwenye mvua nyingi
Nisiloane
Mwamvuli eeeh

Kiitikio:
(Vanessa Mdee & AVID)
So wave and Clap and Dance together
So wave and Clap and Dance together

(Outro)
Ayoo Ayoo Ayoo Ayoo X2

Produced by Nahreel

Soma zaidi

Baraka da Prince - siachani nawe (Lyrics)

(verse ya kwanza)
Wakati nalainisha moyo kupenda sio kama ninakosea
ipo sababu ya mimi kurejesha namba ambayo ilipotea
hali ya mtoto kumsusa mama akishachapwa
ni sawa na mapenzi
ukishapendwa
unasahau hata kama ulishafanyiwaga ushenzi
nakumbuka nilijuta sana kupenda kupenda kusikokua na thamani
ila hitaji la moyo lalazimisha kurudia zamani

(Kiitikio)
mimi bado nina imani
ipo siku utanipa thamani
mimi bado nina imani
jua me siachani nawe
na sishindani nawe
maana upo moyoni ndani
acha nisote mie
ila me siachani nawe
na sishindani nawe
maana upo moyoni ndani
wacha nisote mie

(verse ya pili)
labda juu ya kaburi utanipenda mimi nikiwa sina uhai
hisia zangu haziheshimiwi najidharau sifai
heri ya upofu wa macho
kwa yale nayoyaona
umeruhusu mboni zangu me kumwaga machozi
yaani ungejua hisia za mapenzi
kutesa moyo ila bado hazichoshi
kupendwa sipendwi najua wazi ila bado silingi
maana kesho nitaurubuni moyo
unapendwa na unapenda me meno ila najiona kibogoyo
kweli penzi donda moyo

(Kiitikio)
mimi bado nina imani
ipo siku utanipa thamani
mimi bado nina imani
jua me siachani nawe
na sishindani nawe
maana upo moyoni ndani
acha nisote mie
ila me siachani nawe
na sishindani nawe
maana upo moyoni ndani
wacha nisote mie

Soma zaidi

Joh Makini - nusu nusu (Lyrics)

Intro:
Olele olele the industry

(Chorus)
Nusu saa ya mshale nusu suruali
Nusu kwenye glass nusu bob marley
Niruhusu nisimame nikuruhusu ulale
Olele olele
Nusu saa ya mshale olele olele
Nusu bob marley olele olele
Niruhusu nisimame olele olele
nikuruhusu ulale olele olele

(verse1)
Agizia kina ritha margaritha
Usijifanye kama hujui kilichotuleta
Mawaidha kwenye party hapana kuleta
Ila kama una maombi leta later
Njaa tulishazikimbiza makilometer
Logo ni nyeusi na inameta meta
Wakati wanajiuliza kupata punch line
Me nafululiza kufanya hit song
Huku nikidunduliza so my money long
Na bado sijamaliza so the party is on
Michongo inawakimbiza usiwaone wako hoi
Usongo umenipitiliza
Sherehe zikianzia Arusha kuelekea Ibiza
Vunja nazi navunja maviza
Nachana maanga napasua giza
Me ni nuru sio wale ni kiza
Makini na jesus
So pump the cheers up

(Chorus)
Nusu saa ya mshale nusu suruali
Nusu kwenye glass nusu bob marley
Niruhusu nisimame nikuruhusu ulale
Olele olele
Nusu saa ya mshale olele olele
Nusu bob marley olele olele
Niruhusu nisimame olele olele
nikuruhusu ulale olele olele

(verse2)
Bland kubwa sio kitoto
Na show ni cash sio mkopo
Najenga nchi sitoi boko
Siri kali mbwa koko
Tokea uswazi siachi ukoko
Tokea magheto huu ndio mtoko
Matendo sina loko loko
You know we do this for the people
Siwapigi chupa wape kopo
Extra ni kwa mabinti amsha popo
Deejay na kila sekta
Charii ya Arusha nawarusha kila bata
Na mambo ya mambo ya maana tukumbuke tukila bata
Na kama mambo ya kimsingi me ni lenta
Na ka ni mambo ya kipimbi mnaleta
Motto mkali mkibetua nambenta
Na kesho morning ndio mtagundua ilikua ni penta
Makolomeo yanaita ni kiu
Na kauli mbiu leo nipo tee
Bendera hewani simamisha mlingo tee
Watu mtu kati
Ukuti univutii
Sikutii nakutia adabu

(Chorus)
Nusu saa ya mshale nusu suruali
Nusu kwenye glass nusu bob marley
Niruhusu nisimame nikuruhusu ulale
Olele olele
Nusu saa ya mshale olele olele
Nusu bob marley olele olele
Niruhusu nisimame olele olele
nikuruhusu ulale olele olele

Nusu saa ya mshale olele olele
Nusu bob marley olele olele
Niruhusu nisimame olele olele
nikuruhusu ulale olele olele

Nusu saa ya mshale olele olele
Nusu bob marley olele olele
Niruhusu nisimame olele olele
nikuruhusu ulale olele olele
      (END)

Soma zaidi

AJIRA MPYA - (accounts, driver,auditor, trainee,+)

DIVERS - 2  POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of Secondary School Certificate,with a class “C” driving licence.The candidate must also have undergone training and attained Trade Test Grade II from a recognised institution
Apply: Director General,
Medical Stores Department
Box  9081 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

ACCOUNTING OFFICER
Qualifications: Degree in Accounting or Finance
Apply: buzrecruitment@acaciamining.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 01 ,  2015

MEMBER CARE TRAINEE (CORRESPONDENT) 4 - POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of degree or Advanced Diploma in Marketing or Economics or Social Security or Business Administration or any other related qualification from a recognised institution and must be computer literate
Apply: www.ppftz.org
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

OPERATIONS TRAINEE FOR ZONES 6 - POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of degree or Advanced Diploma in Marketing or Economics or Social Security Administration or Insurance or any other related qualification from a recognised institution and must be computer literate
Apply: www.ppftz.org
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

CONTRIBUTIONS TRAINEE- 8 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of degree or Advanced Diploma in Finance Management or Social Security Administration or Insurance or Information Technology or Economics or its equivalent from a recognised institution and must be computer literate
Apply: www.ppftz.org
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

OPERATIONS TRAINEE FOR ZONES- 16 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of degree or Advanced Diploma in Marketing or Economics or Social Security Administration or Insurance or any other related qualification from a recognised and must be computer literate
Apply: www.ppftz.org
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

INTERNAL AUDITOR
Qualifications: Holder of Bachelor of Commerce degree (Accounting major)or its equivalent from a recognised institution with work experience of at least three years
Apply: Chief Executive Officer Universal Communications
Services Access Fund
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

SENIOR FINANCE ASSISTANT
Qualifications: Higher Diploma in Office Management/Administration and extensive experience in Administrative positions
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

SENIOR DIARY PRODUCTION ADVISOR
Qualifications: Minimum of Bachelor’s degree in the fields of Animal and Veterinary Sciences,Holder of Master’s in Animal,Veterinary and Agricultural Sciences and Rural Development will be highly considered
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

Soma zaidi

NAFASI ZA AJIRA - (technician, marketing, manager,+)

KOGOMA PROGRAMME MANAGER
Qualifications: Bachelor’s degree in Health/Business Administration or equivalent,Master’s degree in Public Health or Business Administration will be an added advantage
Apply: TZ@worldlungfoundation.org
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 06 ,  2015

OFFICE MANAGEMENT SECRETARY
Qualifications: Holder of National Form IV/VI with Diploma in Secretarial duties from a recognized institution
Apply: Director General,
Medical Stores Department
Box  9081 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015


HEAD OF MOTORING AND
EVALUATION
Qualifications: Holder of Master’s
degree in Business Administration, Engineering Management,
Project Management,Finance, Economics,or its equivalent Apply: Chief Executive Officer Universal Communications
Services Access Fund
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian Apri 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

ASSISTANT SUPPLIES OFFICER II
Qualifications: Holder of Ordinary Diploma in Materials Management from a recognised institution or completed professional foundation stage
Apply: The Executive Director,
Muhimbili Orthopaedic institute
Box 65474, Dar es Salaam
Details: Daily News April 15, 2015
Deadline: April 30 ,  2015

MECHANICAL TECHNICIAN II
Qualifications: Holder of an Ordinary/Advanced Secondary School Certificate with Trade Test III or II in a related field from a recognised vocational Education Training institute
Apply: The Executive Director,
Muhimbili Orthopaedic institute
Box 65474, Dar es Salaam
Details: Daily News
April 15, 2015
Deadline: April 30 ,  2015

MARKETING  MANAGER
Qualifications: Holder of Master’s degree or Advanced Diploma in Marketing or Economics or Business Administration or Political Science and Administration or Sociology or Social security or any other related qualification from a recognised institution coupled with at least a minimum of three years working experience in related fields
Apply: www.ppftz.org
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

FINANCE AND ADMINISTRATION MANAGER
Qualifications: Graduate in Accountancy,Business Administration and holder of ACCA/CPA (T) Master’s degree in Business Administration or Finance will be an added advantage
Apply: TZ@worldlungfoundation.org
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 06 ,  2015

DEPUTY CLINICAL DIRECTOR
Qualifications: Advanced degree in obstetrics and gynecology with extensive program and clinical experience in Tanzania or similar setting
Apply: TZ@worldlungfoundation.org
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 06 ,  2015

CLINICAL INSTRUCTOR FOR BACHELOR OF SCIENCE IN NURSING DEGREE PROGRAMME
Qualifications: Must be registered Nurse and Midwife, a holder of Master’s degree with special interest in clinical teaching
Apply: Vice Chancellor Hurbet Kairuki Memorial University
Box  65300, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 20 ,  2015

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AJIRA MPYA - (procurement,lecturer,receptionist,+)

PROCUREMENT/SUPPLIES
OFFICER
Qualifications: Holder of Bachelor ‘s degree in Procurement and Logistics Management or Advanced Diploma in Materials Management or Advanced Diploma in Materials Management or Advanced Diploma in Procurement and Logistics Management or its equivalent
Apply: Director General,
Sumatra head Office
Box 3093, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17, 2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

LECTURER - 2 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of Doctorate (PhD)degree in a relevant field who is eligible for registration as technical teacher or Registered technical teacher,holder of Master’s degree/PhD in a relevant field who is working in similar position in related or allied institution
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi
April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

SENIOR LECTURER
Qualifications: Holder of Doctorate (PhD)degree in relevant field who is eligible for registration as technical teacher with  working experience in teaching research and consultancy of at least three years in lectureship position
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

RECEPTIONIST GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of National Form Four/Six Certificate with passes in English and Swahili and who has undergone receptionist course from a registered institution
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

RECORDS MANAGEMENT ASSISTANT GRADE II - 2 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of Certificate in Records Management from a recognised institution
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

ADMINISTRATIVE OFFICER GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of University degree/Advanced Diploma in Public Administration or related field
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

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NAFASIZA AJIRA - (finance,resource manager, marketing,operator,drivers)

ADMINISTRATIVE AND FINANCE ASSISTANT
Qualifications: Diploma in Office
Management/Administration and demonstrated experience in Administrative positions
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

PROJECT ASSISTANT -NATURAL RESOURCES MANAGEMENT
Qualifications: Minimum Diploma
in Environmental Science,
Forestry or General Agriculture Science preferred. Bachelor’s degree in Environmental Science,Forestry or General Agriculture Science
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

MARKETING OFFICER 3 - POSTS
Qualifications: Holder of a degree or Advanced Diploma in Marketing or Economics or Social Security or Business Administration or Sociology or any other related qualification from a recognised institution coupled with at least a minimum of three years working experience in a related field
Apply: www.ppftz.org
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian
April 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

OPERATIONS ENGINEER
Qualifications: A Bachelor’s degree in ICT fields specialising in telecommunication,electronics and communication,information technology or computer engineering with work experience of at least three years in a reputable organisation of a similar caliber.
Apply: Chief Executive Officer Universal Communications
Services Access Fund
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian Apr 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

PROJECT ASSISTANT -AGRICULTURE
Qualifications: Minimum Diploma
in Crop production/crop science
preferred.Bachelor of Science
degree in Agriculture or Agro
nomy,Agricultural Extensions
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

DIVERS - 2  POSITIONS, DAR
Qualifications: Holder of Secondary School Certificate with a class “C” driving licence. The candidate must also have undergone training and attained Trade Test Grade II from a recognized institution
Apply: Director General,
Medical Stores Department
Box  9081 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

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AJIRA MPYA - (civil, engineer, planning manager,accounting,auditor)

SENIOR PROJECT ENGINEER (CIVIL ) - 2  POSITIONS
Qualifications: Bachelorof Science Civil Engineering from a recognised institution. A post graduate degree in Engineering Management (Project Management )Construction Management will be an added advantage
Apply: Senior Manager
Human Resources
Tanesco Ltd Umeme Park
Box 9024, Dar es Salaam
Details: The Citizen April 2,2015
Deadline: April 25 ,  2015

PRINCIPAL PROJECT ENGINEER
Qualifications: A degree in Mechanical/Electromechanical Engineering or equivalent from a recognised institution
Apply: Senior Manager
Human Resources
Tanesco Ltd Umeme Park
Box 9024, Dar es Salaam
Details: The Citizen April 2,2015
Deadline: April 25 ,  2015


FIELD OFFICER GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of LL.B degree from a recognised institution and must be registered as an advocate of the High Court  of Tanzania with at least one year of experience in legal practice
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

PLANNING MANAGER
Qualifications: Holder of Bachelor ‘s degree in Economics or Statistics from a recognised institution
Apply: The Director General,
Vocational Education and Training Authority
Box 2849, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17, 2015
Deadline: May 10 ,  2015

SENIOR LIBRARIAN
Qualifications: Holder of a Bachelor’s degree in Librarianship or equivalent academic qualification from a recognised institution and at least five years of working experience
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

ACCOUNTING OFFICER
Qualifications: Degree in Accounting or Finance
Apply: buzrecruitment@acaciamining.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 01 ,  2015
Box 9024, Dar es Salaam
Details: The Citizen April 2,2015
Deadline: April 25 ,  2015

INTERNAL AUDITOR OFFICER GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of a Bachelor’s degree or Adv.Diploma in Accountancy from a recognized institution and must be proficient in computer applications
Apply: The Executive Director,National Board of
Accountants and Auditors
Box 5128, Dar es Salaam
Details: Daily News April 08,2015
Deadline: April 22 ,  2015

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ASSISTANT ACCOUNTANT AND OFFICE MANAGEMENT SECRETARY

ASSISTANT ACCOUNTANT - 2 POSITIONS
Qualifications: B.com (Accounts)Bachelor of Commerce, Advanced Diploma in Accounting or equivalent with three years experience
Apply: camjar2014@yahoo.com
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: May 12 ,  2015

OFFICE MANAGEMENT SECRETARY
Qualifications: Holder of Diploma in Secretarial duties with at least six years working experience two of which must be in a senior
Apply: Managing Editor Tanzania Standard (Newspapers) Limited
Box  9033 , Dar es Salaam
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: May 14 ,  2015

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TANGAZO LA AJIRA

CUSTOMER CARE OFFICER
Qualifications: Bachelor degree
or its equivalent in Health
Promotion,Mass Communication,Marketing, Public health or Social Sciences
Apply: camjar2014@yahoo.com
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: May 12 ,  2015

HUMAN RESOURCE AND ADMINISTRATIVE MANAGER
Qualifications: Holder of MBA in Human Resources Management or Msc. Human Resources Management,Public Administration or its equivalent from a recognized institution
Apply: Managing Editor Tanzania Standard (Newspapers) Limited
Box  9033 , Dar es Salaam
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: May 14 ,  2015

MECHANICAL ENGINEER
Qualifications: Degree in Mechanical Engineering from a recognized  institute
Apply: tcc.recruit@jticom
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: April 30 ,  2015
CLINICAL INSTRUCTOR FOR DIPLOMA IN NURSING PROGRAMME
Qualifications: Must be registered Nurse and Midwife, a holder of first degree with special interest in clinical teaching Apply: Vice Chancellor Hurbet Kairuki Memorial University
Box  65300 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 20 ,  2015

PROJECT TECHNICIAN LAND
Qualifications: Bachelor’s degree in Land Surveying,Town Planning or relevant related fields
Apply: Chief Executive Officer WAT- Human Settlements Trust
Box  31606 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

RECORDS MANAGEMENT ASSISTANT
Qualifications: Form IV and Certificate in Records Management
Apply: camjar2014@yahoo.com
Details: Daily News
April 24,2015
Deadline: May 12 ,  2015

ASSISTANT PLANNING OFFICER
Qualifications: BA Economics or BA statistics or BSc in Agriculture Economics or Agribusiness
Apply: camjar2014@yahoo.com
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: May 12,  2015
PROJECT MANAGER,LAND AND HOUSING DELIVERY
Qualifications: Professional qualification in the built environment field such as construction project Management,Quantity Surveyor,Engineering,Architecture,or Town Planning
Apply: Chief Executive Officer WAT- Human Settlements Trust
Box  31606 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 22,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

PROJECT  DRIVER
Qualifications: Vehicle Management Certificate and at least five years of experience in driving/Mechanic,a valid driver’s licence
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

OFFICE ASSISTANT
Qualifications: Form IV with a pass in English and kiswahili
Apply: camjar2014@yahoo.com
Details: Daily News April 24,2015
Deadline: May 12 ,  2015
DIVER - MBEYA
Qualifications: Holder of Secondary School Certificate,with a class “C” driving licence.The candidate must also have undergone training and attained Trade Test Grade II from a recognized institution
Apply: Director General,
Medical Stores Department
Box  9081 ,Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

PRINCIPAL PROJECT ENGINEER (DISTRIBUTION)
Qualifications: A degree in Electrical Engineering from a recognised institution
Apply: Senior Manager
Human Resources
Tanesco Ltd Umeme Park
Box 9024, Dar es Salaam
Details: The Citizen April 2,2015
Deadline: April 25 ,  2015
PROJECT ASSISTANT -SOCIAL CAPITAL DEVELOPMENT
Qualifications: Minimum Diploma
in Community Development,
Preferred Bachelor’s degree
in Rural Sociology/Anthropology,
Gender studies and Community Development
Apply: crystalhumancapital@gmail.com
Details: Daily News April 21,2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

HEAD OF MOTORING AND
EVALUATION
Qualifications: Holder of Master’s
degree in Business Administration, Engineering Management,
Project Management,Finance, Economics,or its equivalent Apply: Chief Executive Officer Universal Communications
Services Access Fund
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian Apr 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

HEAD OF PROJECT PLANNING AND DEVELOPMENT
Qualifications: Master’s degree in the field of ICT. Possession of a Master’s degree in Business Administration or Economics is an added advantage
Apply: Chief Executive Officer Universal Communications
Services Access Fund
Box 33114 , Dar es Salaam
Details The Guardian Apr 10,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

SHIPPING SERVICES OFFICER II -2 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of a university degree in Port Management,Shipping Management, Transport Management,Commerce, Marketing or equivalent qualification Apply: Director General,
Sumatra head Office
Box 3093, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17, 2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

FLAG AND PORT STATE CONTROL OFFICER I -2 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of university degree  or Advanced Diploma in Nautical Science, Maritime Transportation, Marine Engineering ,Naval Architecture,Mechanical Engineering or equivalent
Apply: Director General,
Sumatra head Office
Box 3093, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17, 2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015

CORPORATE COMMUNICATION
OFFICER
Qualifications: Holder of Bachelor‘s degree in Mass Communication,Journalism Marketing or Social sciences or its equivalent from a recognized institution
Apply: Director General,
Sumatra head Office
Box 3093, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17, 2015
Deadline: May 04 ,  2015


ECONOMIST  GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of a degree in Economics or Statistics from any recognised institution
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

MEMBER SERVICES OFFICER GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of at least
a Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration (Management)obtained from a recognised higher learning institution and must be proficient in computer applications
Apply: The Executive Director,National Board of
Accountants and Auditors
Box 5128, Dar es Salaam
Details: Daily News
April 08,2015
Deadline: April 22 ,  2015
ASSISTANT ACCOUNTANT GRADE II - 2 POSITIONS
Qualifications: Holder of B.Com or Advanced Diploma in Accountancy or equivalent
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

PROCUREMENT AND SUPPLIES OFFICER GRADE II
Qualifications: Holder of First degree/Advanced Diploma in Procurement and Logistics Management or equivalent qualification from a recognised institution
Apply: Principal,
Law School of Tanzania
Box 9422, Dar es Salaam
Details: Mwananchi April 17,2015
Deadline: May 08 ,  2015

Soma zaidi